We lost a very delicious sandwich last night.
Rip darling u will be remember and miss.
We lost a very delicious sandwich last night.
I may have sprained my toe and my wrist last night but at least I learned how to drive a motorcycle
Sometimes what you really need is for a nice person to bring you a brisket sandwich w macaroni and cheese, cigarettes, and beer for breakfast, without even asking if you need anything, so you can lay in bed the rest of the day until you feel better (or not). How perfect.
I hate being alive sometimes. I guess I don’t really want to die I just want to cease existence.
wantonswan asked: WHY COME I CANT REBLOG YOU
I dont know why cant u? HEY me so I’m really gonna be leaving in the next couple days and I’ll be in the bay , hah. You have anything going on for you right now? Want to ride with me to New Orleans?
I don’t want people to think I’m sad but I’m like really sad.
I was having this conversation on Okcupid with someone, then I realized: hey, maybe I should actually say this out loud (so to speak) instead of it just being a one on one dialogue.
Portland is sad to me cuz I grew up here and I remember before it was totally fucked and overwhelmingly white (it was always majorly white I feel, but not as completely as it is now). Alberta street used to be poppin’ (and also not very safe, mostly because of gang related crossfire etc) and had a real sense of community and now it’s swamped with nose-upturned-ass, white as wonder bread, snobby rich fucks who want to buy art and cute trinkets and organic local and “pod”(food cart) food. It’s just sad because I’m like, okay, where the actual fuck did all the black people go? Why does society actually think it is not important for black people to have access to good food and decent housing? Alberta and Killingsworth, and everywhere north of there used to be majority black, and I know a lot of people got pushed even further up to the St. Johns area, but now even St. Johns is overwhelmingly white. I just think of it as that Portland was the first city to become massively gentrified (and by that I mean going from being a small and relatively diverse, although heavily segregated town, to “omg white anarchist utopia!!!”, to a white as fuck, yuppie as fuck, greenwashed as fuck “urban utopia”) and catches a lot of flack for it. Really though, in a hundred years, if people don’t wake the fuck up, I’m sure black people will be forced to either assimilate to white standards and/or leave their culture to rot, or die from worsening living conditions and poverty, nationally. Genocide is such a normal thing in our world. It is something most white people don’t have to deal with, and that their privilege can allow them to ignore wholly.
I also realize that I am implying a white and black dichotomy, which is not reality, but I think it is the most relevant to talk of a black vs white dynamic in this specific context. The social food chain sports black people as the enemy of the state and most harmful or leeching to the white efficiency complex. (also I know I am making up terminology, but I feel as if it is pretty plain. If you are confused let me know and I can revise and clarify)
The whole “it’s always been fucked up” perspective is really dangerous, damaging, and irresponsible, and allows for a place to be continually gentrified more than anything. That same mindset I think has a lot to do with the massive amount of middle class white kids moving to New Orleans this summer. They all kind of came at once, and all moved in to the same ghetto neighborhoods. Seeing each other in those neighborhoods gives people the idea of “oh, see, I’m not fucking it up or harming a community, there is already other white kids here,” and lets people justify themselves in that way, excusing any social responsibility they should have (that’s the way the white supremacy ingrained in most white poeple works) and also creates this shitty dynamic of only hanging out amongst themselves in cliquey white scenes. This causes people to neglect actually integrating themselves in to neighborhoods, rather than just living in them, propagates segregation and serves to further the imperialist driving force of gentrification.
Also, assuming a place on the margins and identifying as an anarchist does not actually excuse you from being socially responsible to those who surround you. Superimposing yourself in to a ghetto and starting counter institutional projects made for and by the intellectual class of anarchists is not implicitly socially responsible. It is catering to your peers, not those who you think you’re helping. I don’t know where people see this illusion of bridging of the gap. People are fooling themselves. It only serves to maintain white superiority and gives people a false and widely uncriticized sense of social justice.
I know this essay is pretty unorganized and full of run-on sentences, but it is really more of a rant. Portland has never been as fucked up as it is now, and it only gets worse; it doesn’t stay the same which is what “at least portland has always been ruined” implies. That it is at a plateau; which is false.
Holler if you hear me.